Just rolling with it all…

While talking with one of my Doctor’s from my medical team, when you hear the words, “palliative treatment”, you know that there are no options for any operations to prolong life as your body with all its pre-existing serious medical conditions wouldn’t tolerate it. Then when you get informed that you only have months to live, that is something else but you know what? I’m at peace with all that. I could be all woe is me, why me? and all the rest of it but it doesn’t change the final result. So I make the choice of just taking each new day I have and enjoy the life I have left, the best I can.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep, too many thoughts going through my head as my brain was catching up and recapping everything that has been overloading it these last two weeks. Then I thought about who I can leave things to? I thought about life, God, things I may still want to cross off my bucket list. I even thought about funerals and what I would like to have… nothing over the top, just something simple with maybe a cremation and my ashes spread somewhere I love. So many thoughts were rattling around in my mind.

This morning, I had 2 former workmates visiting me. That was a good catch up, even if it was interrupted by the physio wanting me to do my little walk and a few leg exercises.

This afternoon was supposed to be a biopsy on my thyroid as the recent ultrasound had shown a nodule in my left side which needed further investigation to determine if it is something new, connected with the existing cancer, or nothing to worry about at all. For this to happen, they need someone from pathology there to see the biopsy happen in real time to ensure that there has been enough of a sample taken, by jabbing a thin needle in the neck and taking the sample with the needle but there was a miscommunication between departments and I was bumped until tomorrow as they had overbooked 3 different patients for a 2pm biopsy. I said that I don’t like needles, I’m currently a black and blue pin cushion right now being on a high dose of blood thinning injections as I’ve had blood clots in the past and am on blood thinners for the rest of my life as it is. So they decided to only do the biopsy once as I’m needlephobic. So tomorrow, it is.

Just had one of my wonderful doctor’s from the hospital visit me on her way home as she has been trying for over a week to get a hospital psychologist to come and see me and have a talk with me as she knows I’ve had a pretty tough 3 years with my medical conditions alone and they keep bumping me. It seems, and I do understand this, I really do, it’s the fact that I’m not thinking about doing myself in, they won’t prioritise. She assured me that a psychologist will see me at the end of the week as she is advocating for me and everything I’m going through doesn’t make it any less to deal with.

This afternoon, I had a visit from a couple of former neighbours who are full of faith for God and at the end of their visit, they prayed for me. Blessings to them both.

Time to get the things done, like organise a will. I asked 3 of my cousin’s if they would be executor’s of my will and told them to think it over as it is a huge responsibility. It also gives me time to think who gets what, what gets donated to charity and those kind of things that need to be thought about.

Time for me to organise my thoughts.

Until next time

Kaye

Yesterday, I asked the tough questions to the Colon/Rectal Team as they did their rounds visiting patients but because this is a new diagnosis, no one knows the answers to. No one could tell me how fast the mass in my bowel is growing, what is my life expectancy, it’s all now a watch to see things as they happen and make the decisions on treatment and how to act as we go. The mass in the bowel isn’t a stage as it has already metastasised to other parts of my body. It’s only treatment and there is no cure.

The funny thing is, it may not even be this cancer that ends my life but one of my other serious health issues.

One thing I know though, there are those who do not know this about me, I have a strong faith in God. I believe that he is here with me, even now in all of everything and I trust His plan for me to the end. Maybe he can help me speak to others going through the same thing?

While I had one of my cousin’s and a woman from my old church visiting me, one of my doctor’s came in to speak to us. My cousin had been filled in by this doctor everything to do with my medical prognosis and treatment already. I filled my cousin in on the rest I needed to fill her in on during her visit.

This bit is the hard bit, so before I say this, I will give you some time to grab a tissue or two before I proceed… got those tissues? Now, I will continue… I’m going to say this gently as I can for everyone reading this… I had spoken with another doctor on Sunday about life expectancy and he gave me at least 5 years. I wasn’t thinking about years from what I know about what I have, I was thinking months, and today, the doctor I was speaking with, did confirm that I do only have months to live, possibly a year if that. I will be given palliative treatment for my cancer.

From hospital, they are looking at places where I can go for care. The options are limited as I’m not over 65 years of age, so nursing homes are not an option. I’m not eligible for NDIS and I knew I wouldn’t be either as my current medical conditions aren’t eligible. Speaking with this doctor today, all I know is that the hospital are working on somewhere suitable to take care of me despite my age being a challenge. All I know is that I will not end up on the street as they acknowledge that they have a duty of care for me.

I had a phone call from the Oncology Team at Flinders Hospital as they received a referral and they wanted to make a booking to see me as an Outpatient as most of my hospital appointments are there. I told him that I don’t know where I am going to be after being discharged from the hospital but I did agree with him to make an appointment so I don’t get lost in the system and have to take forever to get another opportunity to see Oncology. If I end up somewhere close to the RAH, I can get them to refer me there instead. At least I’m in the system with Oncology and not lost somewhere.

As I just rest and prepare myself for the night, I catch up on messages and finish this post, while watching TV. I’m just living day to day now to enjoy every moment of life I have left.

Until next time

Kaye

Sunday Thoughts…

You don’t get a day of rest on a Sunday when you are in hospital lol. The nurses still come in to do their observations regularly at change of shift. The doctor’s still do their rounds visiting all the patients in their care. The hospital still buzzes with day to day activity.

After being on a clear fluids diet since before Easter until today, it’s nice to be eating actual food again. (I do recommend the jelly though, just saying). My Low Residue diet that I am on now, after being released by the Colon/Rectal Team returned me to real food and the Low Residue diet, rather than the Ward Diet, so that will be friendlier to my easily upset stomach as there are foods that I still am not able to eat. Anything oily, greasy, fatty, too sweet, too acidic, fried, gives me issues with dry retching and sometimes vomiting as my stomach can no longer handle those foods. So my lunch of chicken, rice, gravy, carrots and cauliflower was absolutely delicious. There was a bread roll as well to go with it and for dessert, vanilla custard, which I only had some of the vanilla custard as that was too sweet for me.

The doctor who saw me this morning doing rounds, he asked me if I would help in participating with a program in talking with student doctors who would ask questions and then do an exam afterwards. I was thought of as I am a “complex patient” having multiple health issues and I said that I would be willing to help. These are student doctor’s doing their examinations for medical school and if I can help them to become better doctor’s and I can help them learn from a human perspective and not just from what they learn from a cadaver, then I’m game.

Had some “sister’s from other misters” visit this afternoon, that was a wonderful time chatting and catching up with them, as always.

The doctor’s are taking me off the antibiotics for the infection on my legs as I’ve been on intravenous antibiotics for a week now and they don’t want to affect the cells that have good gut health and create problems there, so they will now allow the body to do it’s thing with the infection.

Daily blood tests have been a norm as well. Being on blood thinners though, I’m bruising easily. My veins are offering a challenge as well to anyone taking blood because as soon as they sense a needle coming towards them, they move lol. The last cannula they put in my, which is my third, they had to call in their Cannula Team with the ultrasound machine and use that to get it in. 3 doctor’s tried and failed but not the experts last Thursday.

I still need to ask the big questions but since this is a new diagnosis, those questions will be answered later.

Welcome to the roller-coaster that is currently my life, if you are reading this.

Until next time

Kaye

Christmas time memories…

This Christmas I was reflecting on the family tradition of lunch on Christmas Day.

It is a day when everyone who is available on my Dad’s side of the family comes together and celebrates Christmas.

The tradition started before I was even born as out of my cousin’s, I’m the third youngest but this tradition has been going for over 60 years with my older cousin’s.

When I was born, we’d go see my Mum’s family for Christmas lunch and then go to my Dad’s parents, my Grandparents house, for Christmas Dinner, which was always a bbq cooked by Grandpa and being Australia, we would eat outside in the backyard and then after eating some Christmas pudding (Grandpa would put sixpences in the pudding too) and custard, we’d even get a bottle of Coke from Grandpa to drink in glass bottles, not plastic bottles like now and you needed a bottle cap opener because there was no screw top cap. After we had our bottles of Coke, my cousin’s and I would go for a walk around the area and wish everyone we saw a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year as we walked the streets going to one of the many playgrounds in the area. Thank you Daylight Savings time as well for the play time at the playground!

As time went on and Grandpa and Grandma got too old to host the family Christmas Dinner, an Aunty and Uncle took over. They only lived 3 doors down from my Grandparents home, which was convenient as their fridge was used to store some of the food to be eaten on Christmas Day.

As the years have gone by, the family Christmas Dinner has now become the family Christmas lunch with everyone who is available comes for lunch.

My Uncle and Aunty, they hosted all of us for Christmas Dinner, which one year turned into Christmas lunch and from that Christmas to now, it has remained Christmas Day lunch, for many years before my Aunty decided she had enough and felt someone else should take it over.

Another Uncle and Aunty, they hosted all of us for 3 Christmas Day lunches before one of my cousin’s said they will hold Christmas lunch at their house.

So now Christmas lunch is rotated around the homes of 3 of my cousin’s as they have the indoor space and backyard space to have us all there.

When my second cousin’s were born, that started new traditions in the family as they grew and embraced what is family Christmas lunch and now they are adults, I hope they continue keeping the lunch as a tradition, especially when they meat future partners and start having children of their own.

Over the last 53 years, the time I have been alive, we’ve had loved one’s pass away, there has been family breakdowns and family separations where some members of the family no longer come to family Christmas lunch but I still think about every single person not there joining us.

I think about the people who have passed away; Grandpa and Grandma, both my parents, 2 of my aunties – one of them passed away earlier this year and this is the first Christmas without her, a “cousin in law”. I think about those who don’t come to Christmas lunch even though they have a long standing invitation but don’t join in – family breakdowns can be a bitch but in this situation, I completely understand why and I hope all the people involved are happy with their chosen families, that’s all I ask for.

On Christmas Day, I love cracking open a bon bon to read the bad jokes, wear the paper hat and see what crap toy there is. I love eating Christmas pudding with custard and ice cream, I love singing along to the music playing as we gather and getting into a singing war with who can sing a song better, my cousin’s and I or the younger generation, especially the song, Do they Know it’s Christmas?

I remember when my Aunty and Uncle took over from Grandpa and Grandma having the family at their house for Christmas Dinner and all the cousins, we’d be in my cousin’s bedroom singing along with the songs playing loudly on her record player. Do they Know It’s Christmas? was a favourite when it first was released all those years ago and we cousin’s sang it loudly.  Sorry Next Gen Cousins but we’re always going to sing that song better than you ever will!

I hope that when my cousin’s and I are no longer around, that their kids and future generations keep the tradition of Christmas family lunch going and I know they will because they are tight and best friends.

What family traditions do you have at Christmas time? Let me know in the comments.

Merry Christmas everyone from my family to yours.

Until next time

Kaye x

Social media…

I come from a generation who lived before social media was even thought of. Our social networking was talking to our next door neighbours, actually going to visit people at their house, speaking with people in the supermarket aisles or in the checkout line, conversing with the people we bumped into regularly in the street, or picking up the landline phone to call someone. We didn’t have social media and we didn’t have mobile (cell) phones back then, so I got to do all my crazy stuff without it being posted on social media for the world to hear about it.

My first plunge into social media was with Facebook in 2010, then a few months later I created a Twitter (now X) account and over the years I have accounts on many social media platforms. Some social media platforms, I have multiple accounts.

So here in 2024, I have social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter (Dear Elon Musk, I hate the name X and so I refuse to call your app that, signed me), Instagram, Threads, Snapchat, Bluesky, Clapper, Twitch, Rumble, YouTube, Discord, WhatsApp, Tumblr, Linkedin, Pinterest, Reddit, Messenger, Favorited and of course TikTok.

Some of the apps you probably haven’t heard of as some of these apps are relatively new and others don’t have the huge number of users unlike the mainstream popular apps have.

Why do I have so many social networking apps I hear you ask? Well, I wished I had a great answer but I hear about an app and if I think it’s interesting, I have to find out more and the best way for me to do that is to create an account for that app. I can only learn so much about the different apps by listening to other people talk about a particular app, or find out what information there is from Google.

There is however a content creator on TikTok who does livestreams and he’s on multiple platforms and he challenged his regulars to follow him on at least one other platform, or to follow him on all the platforms he’s on. Several of us regulars opted to follow him on all the platforms he’s on as he thought no one would take him up on that challenge, so he made it a dare to follow him on all the platforms. Apparently there were a few of us who if you dare us to do something, it’s game on, we’re going to do it! Lol

I’ve met some really wonderful people from all over the world through social media, so much so that they have become family. I’ve also met some of the most entitled, toxic, drama filled a$$hol3s as well on social media who have earned their rightful place on a blocked list but the good people outnumber the bad ones.

I enjoy learning about people, I enjoy seeing the parts of the world they live in, I enjoy talking to people and it’s all in real time. Whether I’m watching a livestream and typing comments in the chat, or in a guest box talking with people, it fascinates me as social media in general has made the world a smaller place to live.

There are however some aspects of social media I do not like. I detest the keyboard warrior’s who hide behind their keyboards, the trolls, the bullies, toxic people who love to create drama that break friendships or groups. What happened to simply agreeing to disagree about something? Or just being kind and respectful of other people’s opinions? Or be open enough and willing to see another person’s point of view without forcing your own point of view onto others?

When I joined TikTok in June 2022, TikTok was still a great app, then in 2023, TikTok went down hill big time as more people were doing battles by then and people opted to give up their jobs to make a living doing battles because it’s easy money, all you need is big gifters to support your battles. There’s now more bullies and keyboard warrior’s who hide behind faceless profile pictures on burner accounts. Toxic people are on the rise as well on the app.

One of the things that makes me always laugh though is how many people want tons of followers because they think that having a large number of followers makes them look popular. They post nothing, they follow no one, they aren’t known people, they contribute nothing in making the world a better place to live or contribute to making people’s lives better, they just want followers for clout in feeding their own ego’s all because they think that having a large number of followers makes them look impressive as a status symbol.

One thing for me about social media, I have never been about how many friends I have on Facebook or how many followers I can get on any of my socials. I don’t even follow everyone back who follows me. I don’t accept all the friends requests I receive on Facebook either, well the legitimate friend requests mainly, not the scammers or fakes as I remove them automatically. I have never been about winning any kind of popularity contest and never will. I’m about quality over quantity and making genuine connections with people. Even when people unfriend me on Facebook or decide to unfollow me, my attitude is “it’s their loss”. I simply don’t have an ego, I don’t do drama, I don’t do fake friends, I don’t do toxicity (okay, we can all exhibit toxic traits but if someone is totally toxic in how they interact and engage with people, I’m definitely out as I have absolutely no time for toxic people). If someone unfollows me, I will unfollow right back. I do have my boundaries that I will not compromise on.

There are people I have made true friendships with on the socials and those people are on my Facebook. Facebook is my inner sanctum as that is where I share parts of my life I don’t share anywhere else. It’s where I have my family and my real life friends and if a social media friend makes it into my Facebook feed, then they know they are family and I trust that person just as they trust me when they share parts of their life.

I’m a big believer though of the age old adage of don’t post on social media anything you don’t want the world to see. That works for me as I’m never going to post anything that I don’t want to share with the world because once it’s on social media, you can delete a post but somewhere on the internet, that post will still remain.

I love social media for not only connecting with people from around the world but I also love it for finding out what is happening in the world. I enjoy social media and finding some sleep sounds, quiet music or watch something relaxing on nights when I am unable to fall asleep. Social media has it’s advantages along with its disadvantages.

Whether you’re on social media yourself or not someone who does social media, whether you like social media or not, it is definitely something that will be staying around for a long time to come.

I’m kayezee71 on all my socials, maybe I’ll see you all soon somewhere in Social Media Land sometime soon, you never know.

Until next time

Kaye

I remember when I was young…

When I was a child growing up during the 1970’s, they were fun times and they were simpler times, easier times, they were pretty good times. I have a lot of good memories from my childhood which I will share here as they are wonderful memories I have and will always stay with me. Here’s some of my memories from my childhood.

Every Sunday Mum, Dad and I would see my Grandparents. One week we’d go see my Mum’s Dad, my Grampa I called him, Granma passed away when I was 4, so I didn’t really get to know her growing up but every second Sunday, we’d go see Grampa and have Sunday Tea (Dinner) with him, a beautiful 3 course meal which usually included soup, a roast meal and dessert. My Grampa definitely knew his way around a kitchen and whatever he cooked or prepared, that was always delicious! The other Sunday, we’d go see Grandpa and Grandma, my Dad’s parents and have afternoon tea with them. Grandpa being a baker, he’d always bake a cake and there would always be Arnott’s Shapes biscuits on the table as well and what we didn’t eat, I got to take home with me. That box was emptied out by the time we got home as I’d be in the back seat eating that box of Arnott’s Shapes.

Cars during the 1970’s didn’t have seat belts, or if a car did have seat belts, it was usually the driver and the front seat passenger who had seat belts, the backseat had no seat belts in the car. It seems safety wasn’t a major concern for backseat passengers during the 70’s. I remember a friend of my Dad’s who had a Holden Sandman panel van, there was nothing more fun than siting in the back of that panel van as a kid, no seat belt on and with the top half of the rear door up, the wind in your while driving around town.

Growing up, I was a real tomboy; playing with dolls was not my thing. I had a couple of dolls and a couple imitation Barbie’s but I just never played with them. Now if you gave me a Matchbox or Hot Wheels car, I would play with them happily for hours on end with drag races down the hallway, smash up (demolition) derby’s, police chases, you name it, I loved my collection of Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars, I could entertain myself for hours.

In my street, there were 3 of us kids who were the same age and we’d play “Charlie’s Angels” using the 3 houses and re-inacting the episode we watched of Charlie’s Angels the night before. One friend would play Kris, another friend would play Sabrina and I was Kelly. To this day, sometimes we call each other by our “Charlie’s Angels” names. I had a dog also, a white poodle and he got to be “Charlie”.

The universal code during the 70’s was when the streetlights came on, you got yourself home quick smart. I’d always be across the road at a friend’s house and we’d be playing outside, as soon as those streetlights came on, even if we were in the middle of something, we quickly said our goodbyes to each other and I’d run across the street to home.

During the summer months, I’d generally start a game of street cricket with the neighbours. All I had to do was go out onto middle of the street, which was a quiet street generally with my cricket bat, ball and the rubbish bin and start hitting the ball with the bin as stumps. The neighbours who saw me through their windows, they would slowly come out and the game was started. When a car was coming down the street, someone would call out “car” and we’d move to the side of the road, with either the batsman or the wicket keeper grabbing one bin and the bowler would grab the other bin, which one of the neighbours would grab theirs to use to mark the other end of our “cricket pitch”. There’d be at least 8 houses of immediate neighbours playing street cricket most times it was played.

Christmas was always Christmas lunch with my Grampa (Mum’s Dad), Mum’s brother, aunty, cousin, Dad, Mum and me. Sometimes one of my great uncle’s (Grampa’s brother) and great aunty joined us. We’d have lunch and we’d exchange presents and spread the Christmas cheer. My Aunty, every Christmas without fail would sing “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas”, her favourite song. We’d spend several hours celebrating Christmas and then during the afternoon, we’d part company and then Dad, Mum and I would go to my Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Christmas Tea (Dinner). At Grandma and Grandpa’s there’d be more family gathered there with my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I remember every Christmas Grandpa would give all of us kids a small glass bottle of Coke to drink. You needed a bottle top opener to open those bottles, no screw tops back then. After dinner, my cousins and I would go to a neighbourhood playground and play on the equipment and anyone we came across on our walk to the playground, we would wish them a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. In Australia, it’s Summer and daylight savings time, so we can enjoy being outside on Christmas Day.

One of the things I loved doing at night time while Mum and Dad were watching TV in the lounge room was to make a “blankie fort” using a couple of blankets draped over the back of both of their chairs as they sat next to each other in lounge room. I would grab a couple of kitchen chairs and put them behind Mum and Dad’s chairs and make a pretty cool blanket tent behind them. There I could colour in my colouring books, play with my Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars, build something with Lego and enjoy hanging out in my blankie fort.

Friday night dinner was always night fish and chip night from the local fish and chip night. During the 1970’s we didn’t have all the fast food options we have today and there was no having a ton of take away food either as the dinner was always home cooked meal. There were no dishes to wash up either as Mum, Dad and I would eat fish and chips straight from the pack of wrapped up fish and chips. Sometimes I’d get a Chiko Roll to go with my fish and chips. My mum wasn’t the best cook, so I really loved fish and chip Friday nights the best.

As a Christmas present for my 5th birthday, I remember getting a red bicycle with white tyres, I had never seen a bike with white tyres before, so I felt really special getting this particular bike. The make was Dolly. I spent hours riding around the neighbourhood on that bike going to see my friends, riding to the local shops to pick up some items for Mum, or just riding the bike around the neighbourhood. When I grew out of the bike and it became too small for me, it was given away. I hope that the child who got the bike after me had just as much fun as I did riding it around the place.

That’s just a few of my memories I hold dear about my childhood and now I’m feeling nostalgic, so if you want to find me, I’ll be inside my blankie fort colouring in, or playing with my Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars, or my Lego.

 What memories do you have growing up as a child?

Until next time

Kaye

 

 

TV Times…

Wow, I haven’t done a post in a while… life happens but here I am making a new post for you to read…

Who remembers TV back before all the reality shows took over? Remember sitting down and watching a tv show that had a story which featured your favourite TV characters? I do.

I have many streaming services and I binge watch a lot of TV shows I remember watching from when I was younger from the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s and shows that were before my time from the 60’s.

I love escaping into a TV show and being invested with my favourite TV characters from my favourite shows and getting involved with watching them.

A lot of the characters become like family or a friend in the shows I watch as I care for them and take me into their world of TV Show Land.

Even when a character dies, I feel like I’ve lost a family member or a friend.

I don’t enjoy “reality” shows as they have nothing to do with reality as it’s all fake. They are obviously scripted and the people who appear on these shows, they are compartmentalised into stereotypical parts because there’s always the bitch/ass hole, the complainer, the backstabber, the person of colour, someone who is in the lgbtqi community, the crier, etc, depending on what is needed to help make the show more interesting for ratings purposes. Filled with people wanting their 5 minutes of fame.

Reality TV is also cheaper to make than a drama or a comedy series that goes for a half an hour or an hour.

For me, “reality” TV is also too predictable as you can guess what is going to happen before it actually happens as it is all scripted.

Am I the only one who misses good TV shows? You know, like Mission Impossible, Bewitched, The Brady Bunch, Little House on the Prairie, The Waltons, The Love Boat, Cagney and Lacey, The Rockford Files, Emergency!, CHiP’s, Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, ER for example.

I enjoy Law and Order SVU, Chicago Police, Chicago Med and Chicago Fire, Blue Bloods, NCIS, NCIS Los Angeles, Hawaii 5-0 in recent TV show viewing, just to name a few.

I just hope that reality TV doesn’t completely take over and that is all that appears on our TV screens in the future.

I know there are streaming platforms to watch shows that interest me available but I cancelled all the subscription ones as they were costing me a fortune and jacking up their prices, so I only kept the ones that are free, they offer enough of what I’m interested in watching, when I want to watch. I know there are shows I will miss out on watching by not having the paid streaming platforms but that’s okay, the free one’s have enough content to keep me entertained.

Whether you enjoy all the reality shows or not, happy viewing.

Until next time,

Kaye

Generation X, the Awesome Generation…

Hands up if you were born between the years of 1965 – 1980… you are well and truly my people, the Generation X people. My generation.

As a Gen X myself, born in 1971, I love being a Gen X. I love how we know a lot of things to do with the generations that precedes us, The Greatest Generation – those born between 1901 – 1927, The Silent Generation – those born between 1928 – 1945 and The Baby Boomers – those born between 1965 – 1980 as they are our great grandparents, grandparents, great aunts, great uncles, parents, uncles, aunties but we also know a lot of stuff from the generations that succeeded us as well. We know about things to do with The Millennials or Generation Y – those born between 1981 – 1996, Generation Z – those born between 1997 – 2012 and the latest generation, Generation Alpha – those born between 2013 – 2025, as these are our children, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, great nieces, great nephews, our friends children.

We just have a lot of cross generational knowledge with being a Gen X.

Generation X was the last generation who played in the streets, we were the last generation to record songs from the radio onto a cassette tape, we were the first generation to play video games, we were the first generation to use personal computers, we could walk over a kilometre without complaining about not being driven to our destination, we were the last generation to go to our friends homes to see them, remember having to be home as soon as the streetlights came on? We learned how to work the VCR before anyone else, we lived without mobile (cell) phones, we were the first generation who had Sony Walkman’s, we were before the internet, we were the last generation to drive in cars without seatbelts, we were the first generation to use chatrooms, we only had 4 TV stations to choose from and TV stations closed at midnight, we didn’t have social media, the music was also the best.

Generation X is absolutely the best generation in my books.

Until next time

Kaye

Happy New Year 2024…

Goodbye 2023 and hello 2024… what a year 2023 was? 2023 was a tough year for many, including me with many of us facing the storms of life during the year that was but just like any storm, the storm stops raging eventually and the sun comes out again.

Personally, the year was indeed a rough year for me. Life happened in a big way. I learned a lot about myself and a lot about so called friends who ended up being fake friends and not being in my corner at all.

I learned who was in my circle and my circle got smaller as I removed people from my life who weren’t serving my greater good and were draining my energy or creating drama in my life through their own actions and drawing me into their drama.

I also distanced myself from certain people in my life and haven’t removed them completely.

This is what setting healthy boundaries is about. Life isn’t a popularity contest, you’re not going to get along with everyone in life. It’s healthy to have boundaries and either remove people out of your life who aren’t in your circle because not everyone is. There’s many people who will call you friend but will talk about you behind your back, or not show you support when you are going through a storm in life, there’s so called friends who are toxic, fake friends, friends will continuously disrespect you or badmouth you… these people are not your friends.

These are the people to release from your life, even on social media. Set healthy boundaries and have people who accept you for who you are and will show up when you need that support when life hits.

Surround yourself with people who get you and what you are about and don’t try to change you but they bring out the best in you.

It’s even okay to remove family members from your life as well. We need to be able to preserve our inner peace and just because someone is family, they can cause more issues for our inner peace than friends.

I’m okay about losing people in life, both in real life and on social media. I want people who bring out the best in me, people who understand me, people who will be there in both the calm days when the boat is in calm water and during the storms. The storms of life, this too shall pass but it’s worth knowing who is next to you in that boat; someone who will help you bail out the water if the boat starts leaking or someone who will go overboard and swim to shore, leaving you to bail out the water alone in that boat.

Yeah, I’m okay with my circle shrinking. I’m more about me and no longer about keeping certain people around in my circle because they simply have the label of family or friend. 2023 was a year of letting go.

2024 is going to be the year of keeping my circle small and making sure everyone who is in my circle is worth having there.

Until next time…

Kaye

True friendships…

Let me ask a question, what makes a friend and what makes a friendship? To me, to have a friend, first you need to be a friend. It’s a clichéd saying but it is a true saying.

I have a select small group of friends, real friend who I know have my back and are there through all times, the good and the rough times. I also have a lot of friends who are really just acquaintances. Then there are the fickle, fair weather friends who are only there when the going is good but are no where to be seen in the tough times.

As I get older, it’s more about quality over quantity with the friends I have as life isn’t a popularity contest and I just want to surround myself with people who are genuine in there friendship and are always around.

I had friends who would try and buy friendship with giving things to me but they always wanted something in return, it was never anything given because they were true friends who gave something out of the generosity of their heart but only given with an ulterior motive. Then there’s the so called friends who kept score on what they gave me as they felt it proved their friendship but felt as though I wasn’t being a true friend all because they expected something in return and try to guilt me into giving them something by telling me all the times they gave me something .

I give the people I consider friends things all the time but I never expect anything in return. I do it because I want to. I don’t make anyone feel obligated to reciprocate the gift giving, even if it’s just a cup of coffee, I never expect anything in return.

Then there are those who will tell you the things they think you want to hear, or pretend to be something they are not in trying to earn a friendship.

For me, I want friends who will be open and honest with me. I want friends who don’t gossip behind my back because if you have friends who talk with you about their friend behind their back, guess what? those people you call a friend, they are saying things about you to other people.

As I get older, I am in a place where I don’t want to deal with so called friends who are disingenuous, fake, full of drama, selfish, self absorbed, toxic or narcissistic people. I have let go of a lot of friends who fit into those categories as I want to be around kind, caring, nurturing people who are always there, who are real, trustworthy, provide a listening ear or a shoulder I can cry on and those make me laugh.

I want people around me that I don’t have to explain myself to, people who don’t judge, friends I can trust wholeheartedly and be trusted, so because of this, I don’t have a big circle of friends and that suits me fine.

Be true to yourself and surround yourself with the people who will serve your greater good and raise your vibration and not drain your energy by making you feel some kind of way just because you feel it necessary to have certain people as friends. Some people are not for you and are not the right fit for you and it is okay to release them as those people definitely not for you as they will only keep bringing you down to their level.

Until next time

Kaye