Yesterday, I asked the tough questions to the Colon/Rectal Team as they did their rounds visiting patients but because this is a new diagnosis, no one knows the answers to. No one could tell me how fast the mass in my bowel is growing, what is my life expectancy, it’s all now a watch to see things as they happen and make the decisions on treatment and how to act as we go. The mass in the bowel isn’t a stage as it has already metastasised to other parts of my body. It’s only treatment and there is no cure.

The funny thing is, it may not even be this cancer that ends my life but one of my other serious health issues.

One thing I know though, there are those who do not know this about me, I have a strong faith in God. I believe that he is here with me, even now in all of everything and I trust His plan for me to the end. Maybe he can help me speak to others going through the same thing?

While I had one of my cousin’s and a woman from my old church visiting me, one of my doctor’s came in to speak to us. My cousin had been filled in by this doctor everything to do with my medical prognosis and treatment already. I filled my cousin in on the rest I needed to fill her in on during her visit.

This bit is the hard bit, so before I say this, I will give you some time to grab a tissue or two before I proceed… got those tissues? Now, I will continue… I’m going to say this gently as I can for everyone reading this… I had spoken with another doctor on Sunday about life expectancy and he gave me at least 5 years. I wasn’t thinking about years from what I know about what I have, I was thinking months, and today, the doctor I was speaking with, did confirm that I do only have months to live, possibly a year if that. I will be given palliative treatment for my cancer.

From hospital, they are looking at places where I can go for care. The options are limited as I’m not over 65 years of age, so nursing homes are not an option. I’m not eligible for NDIS and I knew I wouldn’t be either as my current medical conditions aren’t eligible. Speaking with this doctor today, all I know is that the hospital are working on somewhere suitable to take care of me despite my age being a challenge. All I know is that I will not end up on the street as they acknowledge that they have a duty of care for me.

I had a phone call from the Oncology Team at Flinders Hospital as they received a referral and they wanted to make a booking to see me as an Outpatient as most of my hospital appointments are there. I told him that I don’t know where I am going to be after being discharged from the hospital but I did agree with him to make an appointment so I don’t get lost in the system and have to take forever to get another opportunity to see Oncology. If I end up somewhere close to the RAH, I can get them to refer me there instead. At least I’m in the system with Oncology and not lost somewhere.

As I just rest and prepare myself for the night, I catch up on messages and finish this post, while watching TV. I’m just living day to day now to enjoy every moment of life I have left.

Until next time

Kaye